Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse

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  (773): so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse http://tfl.nu/dvkx
  Replies (9) Good night (780) Bad night (4315)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.

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  (613): There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared. (613): This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea? (613): Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win. http://tfl.nu/1a5o
  Replies (13) Good night (2971) Bad night (645)
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  (805): View more from California

  i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila

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  (805): i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila http://tfl.nu/c3w5
  Replies (17) Good night (3862) Bad night (1357)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing

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  (203): we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing http://tfl.nu/99kd
  Replies (17) Good night (11080) Bad night (1297)
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  (714): View more from California

  Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.

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  (714): Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover. http://tfl.nu/xecz
  Replies (18) Good night (6745) Bad night (1196)
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  (845): View more from New York

  alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.

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  (845): alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization. http://tfl.nu/1m6d
  Replies (16) Good night (8806) Bad night (1477)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.

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  (907): I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized. http://tfl.nu/0yaa
  Replies (12) Good night (3738) Bad night (1092)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.

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  (512): If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department. http://tfl.nu/ppwl
  Replies (8) Good night (2708) Bad night (812)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower

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  (614): He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower http://tfl.nu/xrd7
  Replies (4) Good night (2300) Bad night (870)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Tornado warnings are fun!

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  (254): Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows. (254): Tornado warnings are fun! http://tfl.nu/9sqb
  Replies (13) Good night (3411) Bad night (1185)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up

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  (514): she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up http://tfl.nu/zucc
  Replies (10) Good night (2168) Bad night (1099)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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  (248): I immediately regret the tequila decision. http://tfl.nu/ptpj
  Replies (4) Good night (668) Bad night (442)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!

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  (352): I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!! http://tfl.nu/xhpg
  Replies (5) Good night (761) Bad night (494)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...

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  (306): how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk? (1-306): you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you... http://tfl.nu/x6zk
  Replies (0) Good night (1485) Bad night (410)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going

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  (847): well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going http://tfl.nu/vq9c
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (725)

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