Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.

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  (734): Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large. http://tfl.nu/nhrn
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (1354)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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  (248): I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you? http://tfl.nu/mhei
  Replies (8) Good night (2344) Bad night (628)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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  (734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44
  Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (1880)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around

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  (814): I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around http://tfl.nu/xsf6
  Replies (13) Good night (1306) Bad night (2384)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...

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  (910): Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table... http://tfl.nu/b55w
  Replies (6) Good night (3780) Bad night (879)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same

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  (480): I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same http://tfl.nu/efli
  Replies (6) Good night (618) Bad night (3130)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.

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  (478): closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college. http://tfl.nu/w89j
  Replies (17) Good night (4421) Bad night (776)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.

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  (609): girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her. http://tfl.nu/7glm
  Replies (15) Good night (4825) Bad night (1642)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

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  (717): Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK??? http://tfl.nu/2k2z
  Replies (13) Good night (3734) Bad night (1450)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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  (508): I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls http://tfl.nu/izkj
  Replies (4) Good night (2069) Bad night (1462)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  French fry pizza

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Are you brilliant or just really high?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can't it be both?

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  (330): French fry pizza (502): Are you brilliant or just really high? (330): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/8jk8
  Replies (8) Good night (3487) Bad night (873)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"

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  (778): I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie" http://tfl.nu/vq1n
  Replies (17) Good night (2119) Bad night (1513)
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  (789): View more from

  You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down

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  (789): You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down http://tfl.nu/6vfu
  Replies (2) Good night (1447) Bad night (929)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...

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  (402): Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem... http://tfl.nu/aasf
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.

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  (845): I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops. http://tfl.nu/fks7
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (317)

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