): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
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Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."