made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
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Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
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How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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