Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.