You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
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Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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