Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
