Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
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DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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