I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
