She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
