Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
