do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
