come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we made out on top of his cat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
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When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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