It's Friday. Sex?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
