dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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