I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
