Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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