Me too!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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