What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've blown a few things in my day
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
