I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
