we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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