Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
