there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
