I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize