maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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