We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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