dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
