What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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