So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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