Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
