The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
