HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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