OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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