So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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