i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
