Sponge bath it is.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
