My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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