i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize