There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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