GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
