Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
