At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
