I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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