I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
