I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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