It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
