Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we made out on top of his cat.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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