whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
