She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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