she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
