We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
