I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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