He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
