i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
