i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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