Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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